Divorce is never easy, but it can be especially difficult if you and your spouse are not on good terms. If you are looking for ways to make your divorce as difficult and acrimonious as possible, here are a few tips:
- Become a thorn in your spouse's side. Do everything you can to make your spouse's life miserable. This could include things like calling them at all hours of the night, harassing them at work, or spreading rumors about them to your friends and family. In doing this, you make the interactions between the two of you as difficult and strained as possible.
- Become vindictive. If your spouse has done something to hurt you, make sure they pay for it. This could include things like trying to get them fired from their job, taking them to court for everything they're worth, or even trying to get them arrested. This sends you down a never-ending path of trying to get even or retribution for every wrong you feel you have incurred.
- Become irrational. Don't let logic or reason get in the way of your revenge. If you want to make your divorce as difficult as possible, you need to be willing to act like a crazy person. This could take over your day to day life and reasoning if you let it.
- Become unpredictable. Your spouse should never know what you're going to do next. This will keep them on their toes and make it harder for them to plan their next move. You will be a difficult co-parent and your children may even wonder what happened to you as a healthy, stable adult in your life.
- Become relentless. Don't give up until you've gotten what you want. This could mean dragging out the divorce for years, or it could mean going to extreme lengths to get revenge on your spouse. Either way, you will spend excessive energy and effort on things that will not enrich your life in the future.
- Invest a lot of time and emotional energy into self-pity and speak often and loudly to friends and family about your personal frustrations, particularly in the presence or hearing of the children.
- Ignore deadlines and drag your feet about producing the documents and information needed to resolve or conclude your case. This will ensure that your divorce case is lengthy, time-consuming and costly.
- Involve your children in your dispute, causing them significant emotional harm, or even abuse. Play games with parenting time or use your children as a pawn.
- Expose your children to a new-found love interest or significant other too soon, before the children are emotionally ready and prepared to process the separation of their parents, followed by a parent moving on.
- Keep secrets from your lawyer. This will prevent your lawyer from giving you needed and necessary advice. Or, make false claims such as allegations that your spouse is hiding money or assets if you do not actually have evidence to support this allegation or claim.
- Insist on going to trial or believing that it will be healing or empowering to “tell a judge” how bad your spouse has been. It won’t be. It will only force you to continue to live in the past and cost you significantly- both in dollars and emotional stress. Trial is only used when actually needed.
- Insist or demand unrealistic expectations or outcomes from the litigation process. Make every molehill into a mountain.
If you follow these tips, you'll be well on your way to turning your divorce into the breakup from hell. Just remember, revenge is a dish best served cold, so don't rush into anything. Take your time and savor every moment of your spouse's misery. Sadly, this will be a certain recipe for destruction of your own life, as well as that of your spouse, and your children.
But seriously, don't do this. Don’t destroy your life in this way.
Divorce is a difficult process, and it's important to remember that there are two people involved. If you have a child or children, even more people are involved in the family. Even if you're angry and hurt, it's important to try to be civil and respectful to your spouse. Doing otherwise will only make things more difficult for everyone involved, including your children.
If you're struggling to cope with your divorce, there are resources available to help you. You can talk to a therapist, join a support group, or read books about divorce. There are also many online resources available, such as the website of the American Psychological Association. Ensure you work with a family law attorney who gives you advice about well-reasoned behavior in going through the divorce process.
Remember, you're not alone. Millions of people go through divorce every year. There are people who understand what you're going through and can help you get through it. If you are committed to a bright future where you avoid a divorce from hell, consult with our excellent team at Pingel Family Law. Call us at (816) 208-8130. Put our teams, knowledge, compassion and expertise to work for you.